What Your Valentine’s Day Lingerie Says About You

Friday, February 8th by

"I recently read 50 Shades of Grey."

"I love shootin', 'Merica, Jeff Foxworthy, and drinkin' moonshine. Pew pew pew!"

"Someday, I will make you take our honeymoon to Disney World."

"I paid a lot for these boobs, so I'm gonna make sure you look at them."

"I am not subtle."

"When we're done here, I'm just going to leave this on and go right to work. At the strip club. Because I am a stripper."

"I've been meaning to tell you about my ultimate fantasy. It involves tuna."

"I'll let you order me around and pretend to be the boss because it makes me seem cool and easygoing, but it makes me cry inside."

Roses. Candy. Teddy bears. Diamonds. For such a refined and dainty holiday, there's also a ton of strappy, misguided lingerie getups that look more hoochie than sexy.

Yes, it's Valentine's Day, the day to impress a new love or add a spark to an old one by putting on something real uncomfortable and then trying to feel sexy. Of course, beautiful lingerie that won't make you feel silly exists. This is not that.  When you don complicated lingerie, you're saying that you care enough about your relationship to give it a jolt. You're saying that you want to make your partner's every fantasy come true. You're saying...what exactly are you saying?

Image via Newsgab.com

 

 

 

Allison Ford is a writer and editor whose work has appeared on The Gloss, EcoSalon, DivineCaroline, and other websites and magazines. She knows all there is to know about beauty, style, pop culture, reality TV, and sparkly accessories. Her physical home is San Francisco; her online home is allisonford.com.