There's a fun article over at the Atlantic discussing why women give the guys they date nicknames. If you've ever asked your friend "How's it going with Gym Guy?" or watched an episode of Sex and the City (Big's name was not, in fact, Big), then you know what we're talking about. The writer suggests that refusing to use the guy's real name lessens the sting if the relationship doesn't work out.
There's also a great scene in The Sweetest Thing (throwback!), in which Cameron Diaz's character inadvertently drops the name of the guy she just met into conversation. Her gal pal, played by Christina Applegate, calls her out for "naming the puppy," which means she actually really likes this guy and is getting all "bajigity." Using a love interest's real name is a big step in a blossoming relationship and something that should not be rushed. I'm a little superstitious and believe that doing so too early could jinx it. (Same with programming the number in your phone—jumping the gun on that one is the kiss of death).
There's also a practical aspect for the nicknaming of potential love interests: In a city as small and social as San Francisco, the degrees of separation are far less than that of Kevin Bacon, so it's not unheard of for the girl at the table next to you at happy hour to have a friend who knows a girl who works with whoever you're name dropping. Before you know it, your cover has been blown and now your named puppy knows you're getting all bajigity over him. It's best to stick with descriptive, yet opaque nicknames.
The Atlantic post got me going through my virtual rolodex of nicknames my friends and I have given guys over the years. Not-so-coincidentally, many of these names reveal why things didn't work out. I mean, why I even bothered with someone I had nicknamed Captain Jack Barnacle is beyond me, but then again, hindsight is 20-20. Here's my embarrassing, yet entertaining, list of nicknames:
The Maybe Gay
Captain Jack Barnacle
The Cage Fighter
The Flighty Hipster
The Boston Kid (pronounced Bahston Khed)
The Maybe Douchey but Hot Guy
Tank Top Guy
Baby Mama Drama
The Old Dude
The Threesome Texter
Aaaaand the list goes on. If I had paid closer attention to what names first popped into my head for these guys, I probably would have wasted less time with Threesome Texter or Baby Mama Drama. Perhaps we should pay closer attention to these early descriptors to weigh the potential for a lasting relationship. It's not rocket scientist, but it's just now dawning on me that finding a guy who I'm tempted to name Funny Charming Smart Guy is probably going to go better than one I immediately dub The Stoner.
What are some of the names you've used for the men you've dated? And did it say anything about the relationship?
Image via HBO